Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Pretty Maids All in a Row

It seems I start every post with "when I was little..." and then delve into a description of the wedding I'd imagined as a little girl.  I guess that makes sense, though, because we discover our idea of what love is when we're little, and we're shown what marriage is by observing our parents when we're little, so I guess it's natural to have an opinion on what a wedding is when we're little.

Regardless, this is another one of those posts that will start with, "when I was little."


When I was little, as you know from a previous post, I'd imagined a giant ballroom wedding with an equally giant bridal party.  I guess it's a Southern thing, but for some reason it's always seemed natural to have every girl I'd ever been friends with, along with every female relative of comparable age, standing up with me at the altar.  I mean, who doesn't love photos like these?

Photo by Maija Karin Photography // via the Coren Moore blog
Photo by Phindy Studios // via the Brocade Design Arts blog
Photo by Our Labor of Love // via Once Wed
But then I got to college...and discovered wedding blogs.  And with this discovery of wedding blogs came the discovery of "intimate" weddings.  Small, cozy affairs where only immediate family and very close friends are invited and all of the guests can be rounded up for a picture at the end of the night.  And in these intimate weddings, bridal parties were small, or nonexistent.  I briefly entertained the idea- I have two sisters, I could have them stand up with me and no one else.

Photo by Julie Wilhite Photography // via Wedding Chicks
Photo by Nate Broshot // via Style me Pretty
Once the ring was actually on my finger, however...I reverted back to visions of a huge bridal party.  See, I have a lot of girlfriends- a LOT of girlfriends- and I want to include them all.  I was able to narrow my list down to 7 ladies- my 2 sisters, 2 friends I met in middle school, a girl I met in college and a girl I've been friends with since elementary school, both of whom asked me to be a bridesmaid in their weddings, and a friend I met while on a summer internship.  That would've been a much longer list, but I found solace in the fact that, since our wedding will be a Mass, I can have friends participate in other ways besides just being in the bridal party.

Mr. Geek, on the other hand, came up with a list of 5 people he absolutely has to have standing up with him- 2 friends from elementary school and 3 friends from college, 2 of whom were his roommates.


via smooreswifey on the Project Wedding boards

via NewlyWed_09 on the Weddingbee boards

via missfireslayer on the Weddingbee boards
Oh, hey, not so horrific after all!

But wait- Mr. Geek's best man, his best friend throughout college, the person he knows he can always trust, who will always have his back (outside from me, of course!) is...A WOMAN.

Oh noes!  You can't have a lady stand up on the groom's side!  THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO EXPLODE!  THIS IS WORSE THAN DIVIDING BY ZERO!!!!!!!!1!!!!ONE!!!!


In all seriousness, do you have any idea how annoying- more than annoying, INSULTING- it is when people hear this and respond with "...and you're okay with that?" eyebrows raised and tone all judgmental.  Am I okay with Mr. Geek's best friend standing up with him on our wedding day?  Of course I am!  My best friends are standing up with me!  Mr. Geek's only siblings are 2 half-sisters from his mother's previous marriage, both much older than him, so he grew up essentially an only child.  The friend he has asked to stand up as his "best man" is as close as any sibling.  If he'd had a sister just a year older than him- hell, if he'd had a brother just a year older than him- it would've been her.  And, frankly, I'm relieved he's having her in his bridal's like having a spy behind enemy lines.  I'll have an ally in that camp to make sure the boys are ready to go on time and wearing the right outfits and get their boutonnieres pinned on properly.

Are you having a lopsided bridal party?  Did you have a mixed-gender bridal party?  Were people shocked or judgmental about it?

Much love,
The Geeks

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