Today's Gospel reading was an interesting one to hear on a wedding anniversary- it's the one where we learn that there is no marriage in Heaven.
That doesn't sound very romantic, does it?
But, of course, as Father reiterated in his homily, marriage is an earthly institution. It's one of those things we fragile humans need in order to survive this life. You wouldn't be shocked to hear that there is no confession in Heaven; obviously, nobody is sinning, so nobody needs to ask for forgiveness. That same logic applies to marriage.
The purpose of marriage is to help your spouse get to Heaven (and to be helped in return); once you're there, you don't need a spouse anymore. One might see this as an argument for the impermanence of marriage on earth, too, but your job as a spouse isn't done until you've helped your spouse to Heaven, hence vowing "'til death to us part."
Either way, God doesn't exactly write rom-coms.
I'd say we've done a pretty good job working on each other's holiness these past seven years. We certainly give each other a multitude of opportunities to practice living virtuously; not a day goes by without a chance to practice making good decisions. So I think it's safe to say we're doing our jobs.
Seven years of marriage and six years of parenthood- that's a lot of practice.
Although his name is one of the most well-known of all saints in the western world (other than that guy Patrick), the actual details of the life of Valentine the man are pretty hazy. There are many different stories of why, exactly, he drew the ire of the Romans and ended up in prison- probably had something to do with converting people to Christianity (frowned upon at the time), probably had something to do with marrying couples in the Christian rite (also frowned upon, and explains the romantic love angle of his patronage).
One thing all the stories have in common?
He was martyred for the faith. Specifically, he was beheaded.
How romantic! Let's share a box of chocolates.
Gives a whole new meaning to "Be my Valentine," doesn't it? "Be the guy who gets his head chopped off for me."
But you know, maybe it is kind of appropriate. I mean, that's marriage, isn't it?
Not decapitation- our life is not that similar to Game of Thrones.
But being married means dying to one's self- putting aside all thoughts of I want and even I need and devoting time instead to what we need and what we want for our family. Mr Geek dies to himself every day by waking up before 3am some days or not coming home until after midnight on other days working at a job that will mean good things for our family in the future. He dies to himself by crawling on the floor and playing dolls with our daughter on evenings when he'd much rather put his feet up. He dies to himself by running out in the middle of the night to find whatever very specific food my big pregnant self is craving.
I die to myself by...occasionally doing the dishes. If he begs me to. (I hate doing dishes.)
Okay so maybe I need to try a little harder at being his Valentine, since he's so good at being mine.
So tell me about your Valentine! What sacrifices do they make for you?
Much love,
The Geeks
*These are two of my favorite engagement photos, taken FIVE YEARS AGO by the illustrious Emile Frey
My sister bought her wedding dress yesterday!! (You know, the sister who was crazy enough to ask me to take her engagement photos.) I wasn't able to go shopping with her, but I did pin some suggestions to her Pinterest board as sort of virtual support (and texted back and forth with my mom who took pictures during the actual shopping trip, of course).
And during my virtual dress shopping adventures, I perused Alfred Angelo's latest offerings for the Disney Princess wedding gown line.
The wedding gown from the new live-action Cinderella, ladies and gentlemen. And you can also get it with the embroidery all in white- but why would you want to?? It probably costs as much as my car, but by golly if we do an elaborate vow renewal (we won't be doing an elaborate vow renewal, most likely) I am TOTALLY WEARING THIS DRESS.
You know what else I found on the internet this week? Lots of awesome stuff!
The ModCloth blog interviewed a beautiful girl named Abby who is wise beyond her years. Go read it and be inspired.
The amazingly talented Bean In Love extended the lives of some sweet little dresses for her twins by turning them into skirts. So precious!
The always fashionable Petite Panoply proved that redheads can wear red (and look awesome while doing so).
Speaking of fashionable- how is it that Kaelah Bee manages to accomplish everything that she does and still look so cute?!
A guest poster on Make It and Love It shared a simple tutorial for adorable monogrammed zipper pouches that I'm itching to try.
Miss Black Cat on Weddingbee shared a tutorial for gorgeous embroidered handkerchiefs made with the same lace she used for her veil!
A Pinch of Pixie Dust took us on a tour of the new hub around the castle at Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World- the moat is gone, replaced with grass!
Do you read House Unseen? You definitely should because Dwija is hilarious. Like this list of three "tips" for doing laundry. I feel ya, girl.
What awesome things happened on your internet this week?
My sister and her fiance are planning a long-distance wedding.
Mr. Geek and I planned an Alabama wedding from the far-off land of Northern Virginia. H (my sister) and J (her love) are planning a wedding long-distance from each other- she lives with our parents in Alex City, Alabama (where the wedding will be held) and he lives in Northern Virginia. This means there's a lot of travel for both of them during the planning process, and they have to maximize their time together to accomplish the things that must be done physically together (like marriage prep and whatnot). The photographer they have hired is a friendor- one of my sister's art school friends who lives much closer to her than to him- but he has no time this summer to get down to Alabama. She came to visit him at the beginning of the month, the perfect time to take engagement photos to use for Save the Dates.
She's a master at Photoshop and knew exactly how the end product would look.
She's a master at Pinterest and knew exactly what sorts of poses she wanted.
I...have a camera. And I like to take pictures.
For the record, this was HER IDEA. A crazy idea, but I didn't force myself on the bride- she pulled the Sister Card and obviously I wasn't going to say no!
And you know what? They didn't turn out so bad! She's already edited the photos for their website, and created Save the Dates that she's about to have printed, so she said I could go ahead and share some of my favorite shots here on the blog. I started a free trial of PicMonkey Royale and messed around with some of them just to learn how to use it. (Hey Sis- feel free to use any of these if you like them!)
These two are band geeks- they met in their high school marching band! We used his trumpet and her drumsticks, battered though they are, as well as a random sheet of music at the end there with the ring. We went to the Teddy Roosevelt memorial and then to Old Town Alexandria for a little more smoochin'.
So what do you think? How did Sissy do as stand-in photographer?
It was the only flight available that would allow us both to work a full work day today and still leave tonight as opposed to tomorrow (but only just). Please, please say some prayers that we'll make it in one piece and with minimal tears and/or screaming...
More pleasant than a late night flight- the awesome things on the internet this week!
I don't want to be a girl boss. Preach. I'd like to make and do and create but I don't want to manage. I will never make it to the boardroom, and I hate that modern feminism sees this as detrimental to womankind.
Finally: a defense of children at weddings! Are kids loud and messy and unpredictable? Yes! Does that mean they will absolutely ruin your special day? No!
I'm watching The Tender Trap as I assemble this list (late, as per usual) and it's a pretty adorable movie. Even when he's an absolute cad, Frank Sinatra sure is charming ;)
Here's some charming things that happened on the internet this week:
A Beautiful Mess shared a list of 10 easy DIY projects that make me excited to one day (maybe? hopefully?) buy a house!
Studio DIY shared a simple tutorial for clay trinket dishes that would make great gifts!
Catholic All Year shared how she uses PicMonkey to make even ordinary photos look incredible!
Miss Hammerhead on Weddingbee shared an awesome DIY aisle decor idea that uses photos instead of flowers! I'm going to have to show this to my sister...
The oldest runner at Disneyland's Tinker Bell Half-Marathon was an 84-year-old great-grandmother who is absolutely adorable! I hope I'm that active when I'm 84...
Petite Panoply is pretty much my fashion muse, I think. (At least she's my favorite fashion blogger that I follow anymore.) I mean seriously- look at this outfit!
"Have you ever felt like being a mother has ruined you?" You owe it to yourself to read this beautiful piece from Carrots for Michaelmas.
Molly Makes Do and a bunch of my favorite Catholic Bloggers have started The Credo Project. I'm thinking about participating!
What charming things happened on your internet this week?
This week, someone showed us that she's capable of going down the slide by herself. (And also that overalls are about the most adorable clothing item ever.)
This week, the internet showed us these things:
Jamie at Petite Panoply was way more fashionable for The Feast of Saint Patrick than I was in my green sweater and boring black trousers.
Carrots for Michaelmas shared a wonderful review of the new live-action Cinderella. I think Mr. Geek and I are going to go see it next week when his mom is in town and can babysit for us and I am SO excited!
It's hardly any time at all, and yet it feels like we've been married forever. It feels so easy, so right, to wake up next to you each morning, to go about my day knowing that you'll be there when I get home each night. Our life is not easy, but it's our life- not my life separate from your life, but our life, experienced together, side by side, hand in hand.
You're a different person from the boy who got down on one knee in the parking lot after taking me to the ballet. I'm a different person from the girl who was too excited to even say the word yes. And we should be different people- we've grown and changed together, constantly challenging one another to become better people and better spouses.
And we've become parents! We've learned how to grow a baby, how to give birth to a baby, how to care for that baby, how to parent that baby. We were ready to be parents because we were ready to be married- we were mature enough to put the needs of another person before our own, to no longer think of ourselves as individuals, but as "us." That doesn't mean we were prepared for parenthood- we didn't know there would be a third person to devote ourselves to so soon. But we learned together- we're still learning together. And I think we're pretty good at it.
*personal photo*
And I'm having a lot of fun, being a parent with you.
Being married to you.
Today is truly a celebration of us- today is the second anniversary of our marriage, and our daughter's first birthday. We'll eat chocolate cupcakes (and she'll eat a chocolate cupcake, and make a mess, and it will be adorable), we'll have a fancy little home-cooked dinner, we'll open presents and put on our jammies and cuddle up together and watch a movie. Today we celebrate this life that is so very different from the one we were living two years ago.
It's different, but I think it's even better.
photo by One Photo Gallery
Here's to forever, Love- a forever that looks different every day, but feels as natural and exciting as the day it first began.
I've got another post up at Weddingbee for the After the Wedding series, this time about the most memorable portion of the day (for us- the guests, thankfully, didn't know about our almost-disaster!) Check it out!
I've got a post up over on Weddingbee this week- the first of a series called After the Wedding. This one deals with how we're living up to our vows. Check it out- and check out the posts from the other Bees!
my favorite picture of my mom and me, taken when my parents were dropping me off at a summer camp in middle school // *photo by my dad*
Let's be honest- I became my mother a very long time ago. I carry a huge purse filled with everything anyone could possibly need, and I routinely lose my keys in its depths. When I say goodbye to people, I tag on, "Be safe!" I drive slow, and I talk to the drivers of other cars, as if they could hear me. Also, I'm losing my mind. So yeah, I've become my mother.
2. Coffee or tea?
getting some caffeine before the Easter Vigil when Mr Geek came into full communion with the Church / April 2012 // *personal photo*
Coffee, definitely. My go-to is a sugary espresso drink at Starbucks, but I've had to stick to decaf since I got pregnant. (I'm interested to see what happens to me the first time I suck down some espresso again once Chief is done with breast milk...) Mr Geek found a tutorial on the internet for how to make your own foamed milk without one of those fancy milk-foaming machines, so he likes to whip up fancy schmancy lattes on Sunday mornings. While I was pregnant, I would sip on some Sleepy Time tea to help me de-stress, but I was never that impressed with it. I also turned to English breakfast tea when I needed a pick-me-up during pregnancy, since it has much less caffeine than coffee, but I don't even drink that anymore. And then, of course, there's Mother's Milk tea, which, let's face it, is NASTY, but I drink it anyway- generally only 1 cup a day, even though you need like 6 for it to be truly effective- though I have to stir in a ton of honey to make it palatable. I definitely prefer my tea iced and super sweet, with a wedge of lemon.
3. What foreign country would you like to visit?
Rome, from the rooftop of my hotel at breakfast / 15 September 2012 // *personal photo*
I'd love to spend some time in England, and I really, really want to visit the Holy Land. Mostly, I want to go back to Italy, this time with my husband and daughter instead of a handful of coworkers that I don't particularly like.
4. Do you cry easily?
Did I have to put this book down and walk away for a few hours before I finished it so I could regain control of my emotions?
Yes, yes I did. And yes, the trailer makes me all teary-eyed every time I watch it, so I will probably be an embarrassing mess when we see this in theaters.
5. How often do you wear heels?
my sister/MOH helping me with my shoes on the wedding day / 10 November 2012 // *photo by One Photo Gallery*
Um, I wore flats on my wedding day, so...rarely. I wear heels extremely rarely. This is mainly due to the fact that sometime around 2012 my arches decided to fall and wearing heels / standing on my toes for any significant period of time became not just uncomfortable but down right painful. I have a pair of sensible, low nude heels and a pair of sensible, low black heels for when they are absolutely necessary (that is, when I want to feel fancy) but I can't really manage the properly high heels in my closet anymore (I'm just too nostalgic to get rid of them).
6. Do you play an instrument?
playing the bongos in Epcot on our honeymoon // *personal photo*
Ha, nope. My sisters took all the musical talents in our family (both in marching band, a drummer and a trumpet-er) but I think it's fair to say that I'm the better dancer of the three of us, so at least I have good rhythm. My Grandma would often remark about my long, thin fingers when I was younger and suggest I take piano lessons, but after learning "Heart and Soul" on her piano, I lost interest in the instrument. I'm decent at the drums on Rock Band (though I suck at the guitar).
Go answer these questions on your blog and add yourself to the link-up!
As the reception wound down, I didn't notice that my sisters and
other members of our wedding party snuck away to decorate my car.
these are our initials, not a dirty joke. my youngest sister didn't understand why Mr. Geek found this so funny
Mickey & Minnie, since we were about to go visit them!
Meanwhile, I went to change into my
getaway dress, and supplies were distributed to the guests to help with
the "closing ceremonies."
Some couples run to the honeymoon under a shower of birdseed; others dart through a crowd of sparklers.
We're geeks, remember?
We left through a salute of paper airplanes.
(Disclaimer:
this was not an original idea. At the beginning of our wedding
planning adventure, I saw a wedding somewhere on the internet where the
guests threw paper airplanes as the couple left the reception, but I
didn't bookmark the link! So while I can't claim credit for the idea,
our guests sure thought it was creative.)
Everyone lined up outside with their aerodynamic creations:
And then we came running out to the car! We told everyone the idea was to toss the airplanes over us, but of course some jokesters threw them at us...
Funny
story- we were almost out of town when my phone rang- it was my dad.
Oh, great, last minute words of advice? Or maybe he was going to ask us
to come to the after party at my parents' house instead of making the
drive to our halfway point in Georgia?
"I've got something here you might want," he said.
"Uh
oh, what did we forget?" I asked, making a mental checklist of things
we needed for the honeymoon. I had loaded the car that morning in the
flurry of getting ready, so of course I had forgotten something.
"Your camera!"
Yikes!
For some reason, I brought our camera into the reception, thinking I'd
take my own pictures, or something. Ha. So I turned around and headed
back to Spring House, where people were getting ready to leave and
change into more comfortable clothes for the after party. We said our
goodbyes again with some quick hugs and kisses, then hopped in the car
for a second grand exit.
