Faithful Friday: Patience

I won't pretend like Chief is patient all the time.

If we're out in public and she's hungry, and Mr. Geek isn't with us to distract her, and I have to wrestle with the stupid nursing cover and then unbutton or lift up my shirt and then hold her in the right position when I can't really see her face and then unclip my nursing tank top and then get her close enough to latch all while holding her with one hand because there are no pillows around...she gets impatient.  She starts to whine- cry even, if she's tired or really, really hungry- but all is forgiven when she's finally able to latch.

So, yes, she's 5 months old, and when she needs something- to be fed, to be changed, to be held- she needs it now.

But there are times when she is patient- exceedingly so.

Like when I can't decide what she should wear, and I pull multiple onesies and skirts and leggings from her closet and hem and haw over the combinations, and she just lies there in her crib, staring at me and occasionally giggling if I ask her which one she likes best.  She's comfortable and I'm talking to her, so we could do this all day.

Or when it's time for her monthly photo, and I prop her up on the sofa and then fiddle with the shutter speed and aperture on my camera, then snap a few hundred (I'm not even kidding) pictures before I'm satisfied that I've captured a good shot.  She might stare at me with her eyebrows raised like I'm a crazy person for going to such lengths to get her to smile, or she might get bored and start lifting up the hem of her skirt to put it in her mouth, but she doesn't fuss.  And she will smile if I hold the camera away from my face and let her see me smiling back at her. 

tolerating my non-stop photography, though she thinks I'm crazy // *personal photo*

I get bored very easily.  This is especially true at work- I have to work on multiple tasks in parallel, instead of finishing one before moving on to the next, so that I can jump from one to the other in order to stay motivated.  And if I am someone's guinea pig for something, whatever it may be, I'm not always the most forgiving subject.  Let's just say that patience is not my greatest virtue.

Maybe I should practice sitting still and listening to someone else talk for a while.  (Or take my picture.)

What have you learned from your infant lately?

Much love,
The Geeks

Faithful Fridays: Love

We say the words I love you an awful lot in this house- I think maybe Chief has heard them more often than her own name since the day she was born.  And Mr. Geek and I are really good about saying it to each other all the time- every phone conversation ends like this:

"I love you!"

"I love you, too."

"I love you so much!"

"I love you so much."

It's like a script we have memorized- the words just come naturally.  I call him every morning when I get into work to tell him to have a good day, and I'm sure my coworkers probably gag at the sap, but whatever, it's our thing.

On top of telling her every moment, it's easy to show Chief that we love her.  We feed her, dress her, play with her, keep her clean, keep her healthy, keep her comfortable.  (In short, we're her parents.)  And though she can't tell us, she shows us that she loves us, too.

When I pick her up from daycare, she greets me with the biggest smile.  When Mr. Geek is holding her and she starts to get sleepy, she buries her face in his chest, nuzzling in close.  When I put her up on my shoulder to burp her after she eats, she wraps her arm around me and gives me a hug. 

She tells us that she loves us by rewarding even the slightest glance with a wide, toothless grin and a twinkle of genuine joy in her bright eyes.

4 month photo shoot // *personal photo*

It's all well and good to tell someone you love them, but the important thing is to show them.  As I constantly strive to be a good wife, I need to remember that sometimes the best way to express my love for my husband is to tell him how happy he makes me.  I'm blessed to be married to such a romantic man.  He brings home "just because" flowers all the time; he volunteers to entertain Chief so I can take a nice long shower; he'll put my feet in his lap and massage them, unbidden, after I've had a hard day.  Me, I'm more of a words person- I'm good at telling him how I feel, but maybe I'm less good at the actions.  It's like my creative writing teacher always said- show, don't tell.  (Well, okay, telling is necessary, too, but it doesn't mean anything unless you show.)

What have you learned from your infant lately?

Much love,
The Geeks

Faithful Fridays: Awe and Wonder

Everything is amazing and wonderful to her.

I showed her how to make her newest toy sing the other day.  It's definitely designed just for a little one like her; just the lightest tap starts the music, and it doesn't require any finesse to get it going.  The lights started flashing and the music started playing and she froze, her eyes widening in amazement.  When it was over, she gazed up at me, her mouth forming a little 'O' as she started kicking her feet and flailing her arms before she erupted into an excited squeal.  I took that to mean, "Do it again, Mommy!" so I did it again and she offered the same excited reaction.  A few days later, she figured out the actions necessary to start the music, and she watched in amazement as her toy did this incredible thing at her command.  New sights, new sounds, and new people- all are met with her wide eyes and her big smile.

a teeny, tiny Chief staring in amazement at her own reflection above her // *personal photo*

It's easy to be jaded in a culture with such a short attention span.  "Trending topics" are short lived; by the time I get around to picking up the It shoe, it's out of style.  Nothing holds our attention for very long as we constantly search for new forms of entertainment.  Nothing seems impressive anymore.

But this world is full of signs of God's awesome love- the colors of a sunset, the sound of a bird's song, even Chief's toothless grin.  I need to remember to slow down and take a look around every now and then.  I need to unplug for a while and just appreciate the gifts I've been given.  I need to allow myself to be amazed again.

What have you learned from your infant lately?

Much love,
The Geeks

Faithful Fridays: Joy

"She's always so happy!"

That's what I hear from everyone who works in the infant room at the day care center when I pick her up in the afternoons.  She receives a "report card" every day- at least, that's what Mr. Geek and I call it- that details when she was fed, when she napped, when she was changed, a brief summary of her day, and her "overall disposition."  Her "overall disposition" is always "cheerful"- and she's almost always giggling when I say hello.

She greets every day with a smile on her face.  I have to break the cardinal rule of parenting every morning- I have to wake her up when she's sleeping soundly in order to feed her and get her dressed before I leave for work.  I open the door, turn off her humidifier, and softly call her name. 

"Wake uuuuuuup," I sing as I lean over her crib.  "Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuup!"  She starts to squirm and shake her head, then finally squint her eyes open- and that's when I turn on the light.  She throws up her hands to defend against the bright light and I laugh as I lean over to scoop her up.  She blinks her bleary eyes at me- and smiles.

playing with Henry, the "horse of the sea", on Ash Wednesday // *personal photo*

I don't know about you, but if someone were to wake me up before I was ready, or turn the light on in my room while I was still asleep, I would certainly not smile at them.  I would probably grunt unintelligibly and maybe throw a pillow at them.

She could be entertaining herself, babbling at her sock monkey, and if I call her name, she'll look at me and smile so wide, like I'm the most important person in her world, and seeing me is the best part of her day.

I often find myself feeling pretty negative about things.  I could complain about anything- even things that normally make me happy- if I'm in a poor enough mood.  I need to remember how very blessed I am- to have a good job, to live in a nice house, to have plenty to eat, to have a beautiful, loving family- and show my appreciation by being content with this life.  If I smiled as often as Chief smiles, my face would probably hurt!  I'm slowly learning to live joyfully the way she does, and I've got to say- life looks better when you're smiling.

What have you learned from your infant lately?

Much love,
The Geeks

Faithful Fridays: Trust

Jesus said to his disciples:
“No one can serve two masters.
He will either hate one and love the other,
or be devoted to one and despise the other.
You cannot serve God and man.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life,
what you will eat or drink,
or about your body, what you will wear.
Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds in the sky;
they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns,
yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are not you more important than they?
Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?
Why are you anxious about clothes?
Learn from the way the wild flowers grow.
They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor
was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field,
which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow,
will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry and say, ‘What are we to eat?’
or ‘What are we to drink?’or ‘What are we to wear?’
All these things the pagans seek.
Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given you besides.
Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”
Matthew 6:24-34

She trusts us entirely; she knows she doesn't have to worry about anything.

If she's hungry, she doesn't even really need to cry anymore, because we can see the other signs that she's ready to eat.  That's not to say that she doesn't cry; things do upset her, she does get fussy.  But we always make it better, and she knows that now.  If she starts to cry, I'll pick her up and the change is immediate- she may take a while to cheer up entirely, but she'll stop screaming, or she'll sigh a little bit, and you can tell that she's gone from distressed to just upset.  Mr. Geek can get a smile from a crying Chief just by looking at her- because she knows that the fact that he's looking at her means he's about to pick her up.

She also trusts that we'll keep her safe.  She loves when her daddy tosses her in the air, or let's her "fly" down the hall to her room, or let's her perch on his shoulder like a little parrot.  She isn't scared because she knows her daddy is holding her, so everything is okay- and it's a lot of fun!

after bath time // *personal photo*

I know it does me no good to stress out about things- especially things over which I have no control.  Every time I hear this reading from Matthew, I kick myself- yes, Lord, I know You're talking to me.  I know I should trust in You for everything.

When I first saw the positive pregnancy test, I was scared.  We'd only just gotten married a few months before, we were living in a small apartment, we weren't planning to get pregnant any time soon.  I was afraid Mr. Geek would somehow be upset when I told him, but he wasn't- he was ecstatic!  Surprised, but so very happy.  We found a new place to live within just a couple of weeks of looking- the very first house we actually visited ended up being the perfect place to rent.  God took care of us, and He's still taking care of us.  We need to trust Him the way she trusts us.

What have you learned from your infant lately?

Much love,
The Geeks

Faithful Fridays: Forgiveness

I'm still new at this whole motherhood business, and I'm learning as I go.  I didn't realize that I would learn so much about life from her, however- I thought I was supposed to be the one teaching her!  We're told that we should have faith like a child, so I wanted to take a moment each Friday this Lent to share some lessons I've learned from Chief that have helped me grow in my spiritual life.

She forgives so easily.

For a good month now, Chief has had a pretty constantly stuffy nose.  To relieve this, we have to use one of those bulb syringes to suck out all the snot, sometimes employing a little saline to loosen things up.  She hates having her nose suctioned- I can't really blame her, because I would, too!  She'll scream and cry and thrash about, then scream louder when we have to hold her still so we don't hurt her.

When it's over, I pick her up and hold her close, swaying back and forth and whispering apologies in her ear.  "It's okay, baby, it's okay.  I'm sorry.  I love you."

please don't be sad... // *personal photo*

By the time we've walked down the hallway, she'll have stopped crying- she may even be smiling already.  We'll get on the floor to play, and she'll giggle and smile and squeal like nothing awful ever happened.  She forgives us for putting her through that ordeal, and she doesn't hold it against us.

I'm not necessarily a grudge-holding person; if you sleight me, but sincerely apologize, I'll forgive and forget.  But I do have a tendency to pass judgement quickly, and it's nearly impossible to convince me to reverse that judgement.  Typically, my first impression of a person sticks around for as long as I know them.  A manager who can't answer any of my questions on my first day is forever seen as incompetent; a rude or slow waiter means I probably won't be coming back to that restaurant.  I could learn a thing or two from my baby girl about giving people a second chance.

Her ability to forgive, no matter how terrible the offense, is just as merciful as our Lord's forgiveness.  Acknowledge your wrongdoings, ask for forgiveness, and it's granted.  Though your sins may be much more egregious than, say, making someone ride in a car seat or put on sleeves, Jesus offers His mercy just as quickly and unconditionally as Chief does.

She forgives so easily, and in doing so, she reminds me to be less hasty to pass judgement- and also to take advantage of the sacrament of Confession as often as possible.

Have you learned anything from your infant lately?

Much love,
The Geeks